Day 5 (pictures)

Day 5

Saturday, August, 8, 2014

The day starts out like every other.  Wake up, dress, breakfast, fill water bottle, begin the day.

Instead of heading to the work sight in the morning we took a canoe ride across the river to a farm. 

We jump out of the canoe and walk down a gravel and dirt road to then turn onto a smaller path that took us to the farm. 

We all sit on long benches that form a semi circle facing the house. 

The house, like all the other homes I have seen so far, is raised off the ground in anticipation of floods. 

There are large blue basins with cloths strapped across the top of them to catch and strain rain water.

There are chickens and dogs roaming around and all around us the jungle is alive.

To my right there are coconuts on palms and coffee trees, the sun that reaches us on the benches is softened by the leaves as they filter out the bright intense light. 

The air is humid and sticky.  I am starting to get used to the humidity, but it still bothers me. 

A small couple; a man and a woman stand in front of us.  This is their home, their farm, and their livelihood.

Another man stands beside them.  He was on the first canoe ride to the lodge but I haven’t really noticed him since then.

He introduces himself as “Mauricio” and explains that he will be translating for the couple. 

Later I find that he is our guide, along with Rodrigo, on some of the activities we do that take us away from the build site and the lodge. 

I think that this is as good a time as any other to say that Mauricio is gorgeous.  Imagine the most buff Amazonian man you can think of, add a low rough voice, dark eyes, perfectly fitted t-shirt, and amazing arms.  That was Mauricio. 

It is safe to say pretty much every girl had a “little” crush on Mauricio by the end of the trip and it was on that very first day at the farm that we all noticed those arms, those heavenly arms. 

The man that owned the farm started to talk about his life story.

He grew up in a mountain village but his family needed money so he went to Tena to work.  He ended up with a farm that was good except it was very very far from the Napo river and would take him days to hull all of his produce to the river to then take it to the market to sell. So he got a new farm which is closer to the Napo river, except that it has no clean water near it. 

Right now they are collecting rain water, and water from a near by stream but neither are clean. 

He talked about how he met his wife and about their children. 

He told a story about how a lady was travelling in the area and learnt about his water situation and decided to help.  He told her about a water fall that had clean water but was too far to walk to and she asked how far away it was.  He guessed and she went to Tena and bought him pipe lines.  Only later they found out that the water fall was much further then he had said and by that time the lady had to go back home.  And they still have no way of getting clean water.

After he told his story we split up into two groups.  The group I was in went into the forest to harvest coffee beans. 

Coffee beans grow on long thin branches and to harvest them we put a blanket on the ground under a tree and stripped the beans off the branches.

After harvesting for about 10 minutes we carried the beans back to the farm and switched jobs with the other group. 

While they went to harvest more coffee beans, we took buckets to collect water. 

We walked for about 5-8 minutes to the river and collected water in the buckets.  Then walked back and dumped all of the water into a large barrel. 

At this point the other group had joined us back at the farm and we took a break to have some fruit. 

The fruit was from heaven itself.  I don’t even like fruit.  In fact I basically hate all fruit, but this fruit, oh my word.  Imagine the most juicy sweet sun kissed grapefruits, oranges, mangos, lemons, limes, bananas (which I didn’t try but apparently they were good…I am allergic to bananas…Its genetic, I know it is a weird allergy) 

We then went over to a coconut tree where Mauricio was cutting off the bark of a coconut with a machete.  *moment of silence for the arms* Then we had coconut milk and bit off pieces of splendid coconut for like 15 minutes. 

Around 12 we headed back to the canoes and went back to the lodge for lunch. 

After lunch we refilled our water bottles. Side note: I drank so much freaking water on this trip…no I am not even kidding, if you see me in real life I have a cup of water in my hand constantly, its like my thing.  So yeah I drink a lot of water in general so I know what drinking a lot of water is like.  But no, no, no, love this was insane.  I drank water like it was air, which was a good thing.

Back on topic.

We then went to the build site and continued digging, and making wood walls, and filling ditches in with dirt for 2 hours. 

After work we went to the soccer stadium and played a game of soccer against some of the local kids.  Who won the game.  Also the soccer stadium is actually intense and you can't help but notice how seriously soccer is taken there.

We then went back to the lodge, showered, and went to the big gazebo for supper.  After supper Rodrigo went over some Spanish words so that we could talk to some of the kids in the village. 

I was sitting beside Kinsey who I roomed with on the first night in Quito and haven’t really introduced yet.

Kinsey. Is. Hilarious.  No like this girl has serious funny skills. She is 18 but I didn’t know that for over half the trip because she seems so…so young.  I don’t think that made any sense…You know how some people get kind of “I know the secret to life because I can now change my name, go to jail, and run away from home legally”..yeah well Kinsey wasn’t at all like that.

Anyways there was this simple conversation that Rodrigo wanted everyone to have with the two people beside them.  SO it started at the end of our table.  And well when it got to me and Kinsey we completely messed it up.

What our conversation was supposed to look like it this:

Kinsey: “Como se llama?”  (pronounced, “Como say yama?” Which means “what is your name”)

Me: “me llamo Katie” (pronounced, “May yam-oh Katie” which means “I call myself Katie”)

What actually happened:

Kinsey: “Camo saw yama?” *intense laughter*

Me: “Mayonaise Katie” By this time everyone is yelling what I am supposed to be saying in Spanish and Kinsey is laughing and I am laughing and then I turn to Ivana beside me

Me: como-Me-Jamas 

And then Ivana takes it from there and I think either the entire room is laughing or it is just me and everyone else is just thinking “what the heck is wrong with her”

And that ladies and gents was my Spanish lesson for the evening.

After the Spanish lesson we moved all the tables to the sides of the room and made a huge circle out of chairs to play “move your butt”. Which is a lot like musical chairs in the sense that it is violent and causes intense emotional stress. 

So the rules of the game are that one person is to stand in the middle and they are to say something that relates to them like “move your butt if you hate bananas” and then everyone that hates bananas has to get out of their chairs and switch with someone else that hates bananas.  But this is done in a very rushed manor because there is one less chair then needed so everyone is going to find a chair except one poor soul that is going to be chair-less and then has to think of something that relates to them and then find a chair before everything it taken.  Also you can’t just go to a chair right beside you and you can’t go back to your own chair. 

The game is extremely fun and if I ever have a large group of people with a ton of chairs we are totally playing this because a: you get to push people off chairs and it is socially acceptable and b: sometimes you get to play with a Kinsey who is absolutely hilarious because she says things like

“move your butt if you hate birds”   * no one moves *

“move your butt if you hate the bodies of water” * no one moves *

“move your butt if you hate butterflies” *no one moves*

The someone got up to save her. 

After the game we move all of the chairs to the side and are told to stand in a line in the middle of the room. 

The rules of the next activity are then explained to us. 

There is an imaginary line in front of us. 

Esta or Katie is going to say something like “cross the line if you are left handed” and if you are left handed you cross the line. 

You then look around at all the other left handed people and then step back over the line. 

There is no talking and you don’t have to cross the line if you are too uncomfortable doing so.

The activity was pretty intense and some parts were very raw and some were heart breaking and some were very revealing. 

After the activity we circled up again and talked a little bit about it. 

Then we put the tables and chairs back and had like 1-2 hours before lights out so Kinsey, Ivana, Katie, Ioana, Summer, and I filled our water bottles and sat down for an honest old fashioned game of truth or dare. 

This was hilarious and for privacy issues I will not talk about this game anymore other than to say it was hilarious. 

After the game we all went to bed and I fell asleep feeling very open. 

Which was an uncomfortable feeling for me because I am, believe it or not, a very personal person.  What I didn’t know then was that I was going to lose literally every single wall that I had around any unshared part of me and I was to become an open book.

-Z

Day 4 (pictures)

Day 4

Day 4:

Thursday, August, 7, 2014

I wake up to the sounds of tropical birds. 

You will never be able to hear the sounds of tropical birds in the morning through a simple blog post.  I am content to admit that I in contrast to this will never be able to capture the sounds of tropical birds in the morning in mere black and white pixels.  The poetry and beauty of their song is far too complex for this screen, or for my imagination.   All I know is that I would sleep a thousand years just to be able to wake up to the sounds of tropical birds outside my window, and warm sunlight giving life to the flat green curtains. 

We all wake up and slowly emerge into the day. Ivana and I leave and go to breakfast.  We have breakfast on two long tables that were taken from the set of Harry Potter under a gazebo that over looks the Napo river which is the slate on which the sun rises and paints its colours on.  I love the amazon. 

After breakfast we all fill our water bottles and head to the village of Mondana. 

It is about a 4-5 minutes walk to the village.  We walk through a small part of jungle and then cross a bridge that bends with every step but never ceases to be bent too far as to break. 

The first building Rodrigo introduces us to is the clinic.   It is painted blue and it is raised high above the ground in the anticipation of a flood .  People are sitting on the porch in plastic chairs and we are all smiling at them and saying “Hola” and waving.  They all return the greeting.

We then go on a tour of the village which takes a little more than half the morning.  We walk past the church and the soccer stadium.  We peer through the bard windows of classrooms all while walking through walkways cradled by concrete walls and I soon realise how everything is covered in a thin grey dust and how everything is a little touched by life but there are no people. 

It is then that I learn everyone is out in the fields working and it is only children who are too young to work in the fields and a few women who are looking after the young children that are still in the village but for the most part the buildings are all empty. 

After the tour we head down a set of stairs to where we are going to be working.  There is a school and a small covered area of concrete with a pit in the middle. We are standing on another concrete square that has two polls placed on the sides near the middle.  They are supposed to hold up a net for Amazonian volley ball (which is volleyball with a really high net) but for the present there are mounds of wood that have been piled on the concrete.   A man named Robert then talks us through the safety instructions that we have to abide by on the work sight while Rodrigo translates for him. 

We learn that we are going to be starting work on a community kitchen so that the school that we are standing by has a clean place to make the lunches for the kids and so that the community has a clean place to make food in general.

Then we separate into two groups.  One goes to the covered concrete area where the kitchen is going to be constructed and the other half start to move the piles of wood into piles by another building which is out of the way.  We also separate the wood into different piles of size.  I go with the wood moving group.

We work for about an hour.  After which we put our tools, safety goggles, gloves, and hard hats away and head back on the trail to the lodge for lunch. 

We take a couple hours to break for lunch and at 2 we head back to the village to work for another 3 hours.  This time I grab a shovel and join the dirt moving group. 

This group (I soon find out) is shovelling away a wall of dirt to give the kitchen more ground footage.  The dirt that we take from the walls either goes to fill in ditches and ruts on the lower level of concrete or goes to fill an empty gap that is being made by group 3. Who is adding a two foot edition to the entire kitchen by making a wall out of wood two feet from the edge of the concrete.

This is all very difficult to explain.  Basically we are moving a ton of dirt and making the kitchen area two or three feet larger on three sides of the kitchen (not the side that is shared with the volley ball court). 

Around 4 we head back to the lodge.  We then had 2 hours to shower and get ready for supper. 

I shower in water that goes from ice cold arctic inspired water to steam and trickles of transparent lava.  I am not even being sarcastic. 

A little before 6 we head to the eating area that is near reception.  The gazebo that we ate at earlier is being used by another group.

We eat and clean up afterwards.  Katie and Esta then have us move all the tables and chairs to the sides of the room and we all gather on one end of the room. 

That is when the rules were laid out.

There are two safe zones on either side of the room, in the middle is lava *insert witty joke that makes a remark about how my shower was also part lava*.  

We are to all stand on one side of the lava pit, and will be given a pair of boots.  But, not just any pair of boots no but a pair of life saving lava resistant boots.   But there is a catch, once someone walks across the lava then they can no long walk back, its kind of a use once rule for everyone. 

With that said we have to get everyone to the other side of the lava.  We can’t throw them, we can’t make a bridge of dead bodies, we can’t climb over the tables on the side of the room, we can’t jump, and we can’t  have two people use one boot and do a three legged race inspired move, trust me we asked. 

Then the fun begins. 

An explosion erupts in the group.  Everyone starts to talk.  It is chaos.  Thoughts and schemes are being thrown into the air but nothing is being caught by anyone else.  In one second the term “listen” was lost to us. 

A small group of people have created a circle and they are yelling ideas at one another while a crowd circles them and shouts input here and there.  Then there are the people outside of the circle that are sitting on the floor or making idle conversation.  I find myself between the crowd and the people who don’t seem too interested in figuring the game out.  I am trying to listen but being not the tallest person or having super sensitive hearing I can’t see or hear anything so I fall back and let the crowd and mission control play the game. 

I still feel like I have to do something.  Like I have to think of something.  But I feel like I need an idea to grow on, someone else’s idea to build up on. 

I talk to some of the people on the side lines but no one seems to be interested so I sink into another conversation with them while the group mirrors waves as their voices raise and lower and rise again.  With every idea the excitement tightens and rises their voices and with every crack in their masterpiece the energy falls only to be picked up by another thought. 

Then the action begins.  The plan is that the biggest people are to carry as many small people as they can and then the small people are to be used as boot walkers to bring the boots back to the side with the former group of people.  And then that routine is to be repeated for everyone.  I cross being carried with a fate to soon be a boot walker and then go back as a lava crosser carrying two people (future lava crossers).

I am then on a side of people smaller then me who are supposed to have a fate of carrying me…This plan is looking a little sketchy. 

After many failed attempts to figure out a solution a plan is hatched to save us.  Except is requires starting over.  So we start over. 

This time medium people carry small-medium people and small people walk back and in the end we are left with all the medium people as pre-used-lava-walkers and on the other side all the big people are to carry the small people who have already walked across.  Genius. 

(I pray that you understand this because it makes total sense in my mind but probably reads as total balderdash)

The plan works! And we all applaud and scream and I loose my voice because I love screaming as a substitute to applause. 

We then circle around and talk about this experience.  How everyone is a leader in their own way and how this revealed how stressful situations change people and how we respond when faced with a problem to solve as a group.

This is my honest opinion:

 Yes we are all leaders but on different levels and in different circumstances.  This was not my habitat to lead.  I lead when I can bounce ideas off other peoples ideas.  I lead by getting people involved.  I lead when there is no leader.  When there are ideas but no one to say “hey what is your perspective on this” not in this situation, not when there are ideas literally creating so much friction that they self combust mid-air.  Not then.  Not when there is no conversation, just trying to talk over the person beside you.

Afterwards we all headed back to our rooms for a good nights rest. 

-Z

Day 3 (pictures)

(left to right) Madde, Me, and Shay

Me and Maddie after the 8 hour bus ride

The sunset over the Napo

Me on the Canoe 

Day 3

August, 6, 2014

The day starts out early.  6 AM early. We get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and meet in the lobby by 7.  We then load our backpacks into the under carriage of the coach bus, and find our seats.  Me and Maddie sit in our same seats from the very first ride from the airport to the hotel.  We get comfortable and then Katie and Esta board the bus and we are off.

The bus ride in total will be about 7-8 hours and our final destination will be a small village called Mondaña, which is just outside of Tena.

For the first 3 hours of the trip we drove through the highlands.  Which was to say the least terrifying.  The roads zig-zags up mountains, and as we climbed the road turned from pavement to gravel and the steepness of the slope to the left became steeper and steeper.

At first my nerves were driving me crazy and I couldn't understand how we were still alive.  The bus would go around sharp corners and the wheels would somehow stay on the road.

To ignore the dozen near death turns I focused on the scenery outside.  I focused on the green pastures that scale the sides of rolling hills.  I focused on the areas of different crops like a patch work blanket draped over the mountains.  I watch as the mist gets thicker as the bus drives higher and higher.  I notice the first drops of rain that hit the window.  I watch as the sun gets pushed aside and replaced by a grey haze of fog.  I curl into my sweater as the temperature drops and I finally let myself be rocked by the movements of the bus and finally let myself give up my anxiety and let be whatever is to be.

Around 1 the bus pulls to the side of the road and we climb out into the crisp mountain air.  We cross the road and walk down a dirt driveway to a pizza hut on the side of the mountain.  Now when I say 'pizza hut' I don't mean the brand of north american restaurant chains, no I mean a quaint hut that has the wafting smell of freshly baked pizza rising from its being.  That kind of pizza hut.

Maddie, Shay, Ivana, Ioana, and I sit at a table outside on the deck.  The entire group of us (23) fill the entire building and the deck outside.  A gentleman in his 40's begins to go from table to table with serving out as many pieces of pizza as you so desire.


After stopping for about and hour for lunch we board the bus one last time for the final leg of the bus ride, which is about 3-4 hours.

As we drive the world outside changes from cold misty mountains to warm sunny forests.  But as this happens the road becomes even more bumpy and the inside of the bus becomes louder as people start to wake up from the food and the warmth.

As this happens Maddie and I start to talk and open up about our lives at home, why we decided to go on the trip, and our life goals and dreams.  As I talked to Maddie I became shocked at how comfortable I was talking to her about personal topics and how open she was in return.  It felt like we had known each other before from how confident I was confiding in her .

With our conversation the rest of the bus ride went by quickly.  And soon we were parking at a vacant market on the side of the Napo river.  We climbed down a steep river bank and boarded a long canoe that had a tarp cover and a motor.  As we drove off into the Napo the sun set behind us and the burnt yellow beams capped every ripple in the water.

After about 40 minutes we arrived at the Minga lodge that sat on the side of the river and was cradled by the forest which blocked the view from the canoe and stretched out behind it, except for a deck that had trees cleared out in front of it.

The canoe stopped on the side of the river bank and we climbed a flight of stairs to a stone path.  We then walked to reception were assigned rooms and roommates and were sent off to get settled in and informed where supper was and when to be present for the meal.

I was roomed with Ivana, Sara, and Laura.  Our room had two bunk beds, a sink, a bathroom, and a small closet.  two of the walls had windows in them that were almost floor to ceiling.  The windows were covered in a metal mesh and had no glass on them.  Each bed had a thin white sheet, a fuzzy orange blanket, a pillow, a folded white towel, and a bug net.

For the first few days I didn't really get to know Sara and Laura but after I did get to know them a little more I regretted not starting a conversation with them on the very first day.

Sara is literally the most energetic person I know.  She would get up before anyone else and go to work out, and would still be the first person on the build site to volunteer for the hard jobs.  I don't think that there was a person on the trip that sara didn't talk to.  She was friendly and open and had amazing listening skills.  When you talked to her you never wanted to stop because you actually felt listened to and cared about.  I think that having the ability to listen to people is a skill that is often over looked but really it is one of the most flattering qualities that a person could have.

Laura is a sweetheart.  She is soft-spoken and genuinely kind.  When Laura talks everyone is silent because even if she doesn't always give her opinion on every matter when she does she can give light to a new angle of the topic that is often over looked.

After we were settled in Ivana and I went to discover the rest of the lodge.

At 7 we were at reception and had supper in a buffet style.  I remember that we had clothe napkins that first night...we never saw those clothe napkins again.

After supper we cleaned up and arranged our chairs in  rows all facing the left side of the room.  Katie then talked to us about how experiences in our lives can have a negative effect on us by making us put layers over who we really are so that we are not hurt, or embarrassed, or judged again.

She then went on to talk about how at the the lodge, on the trip, and in the group we are in a safe place of no judgement and can show who we truly are underneath all the layers that we have put on for society.

After the talk we all signed an agreement clause to agree that we will make this a safe place for people to open up and that we will also open up to others.

After we all sign the agreement we go back to our chairs and the second half of the evening begins.  Katie continues by telling us that we are all going to step out of our comfort zones and take down some of our protective layers by standing up in front of the group and singing for 30 seconds, no music, no clapping, no beats, no rapping, just singing.  And after someone sings no one is aloud to clap and there is to be no talking.

The room goes quiet I can hear everyones hearts beating in sync, or maybe it's just my heart beat.  No that is defiantly my heart beat.  I actually can't breath.  I'm not breathing.  I'm staring at the floor and all of these emotions are colliding with each other behind my eyes and I can't think.  I can't get a clear thought through my head.

I look around to see if I can get a supportive glance or just an "I'm scared senseless too" look from somebody, anybody, but everyone is staring at the ground so I stare at the ground again.

Okay 30 seconds, All I have to do is find 30 seconds of lyrics in my head.  Okay think Katie think.  And then I find it, lodged in my memory bank.  I can hear the tick tick of the milking machine and the sounds of goats.  My friend is beside me and we are singing at the top of our lungs.  My voice is a soft hum under all the white noise and hers is a gust of crisp winter air above all of it.  I have never sang this song without the white noise. I have never been the crisp winter air before.  I have always been the warm steady hum.  I say the words over and over again in my head to make sure I know them, but I know that I know them.

I know them as well as I know my own heart beat and as well as I know the lines of my fingerprints.

About 5 people have stood up and sung.  They are all amazing singings.  They are all the crisp winter air. The bar is raised so high right now.

My heart has slowed down a little and I can breath again.  I know I am not a good singer.  I know I am out of tune on every note.  But I need to just get up there and sing.  The sooner I get up the sooner I can finish.

I raise my hand, and ask if we don't know a full 30 seconds if we can repeat a verse.  Katie says we can.  I ask because I honestly don't know if what I can remember is 30 seconds long or not.

I stand up, I take a deep breath, I look at the floor, and I start to sing.

"I got my ticket for the long way round, two bottle whiskey for the way, and I sure would like some sweet company and I'm leavin' in the morning what do you say?

When I'm gone, oh when I'm gone your going to miss me when I'm gone.  You're going to miss me by my hair you're going to miss me everywhere, oh you're going to miss me when I'm gone."

I sit down.

My hands are shaking.  My heart is beating off the tracks.  I don't think I breathed for the entire time.  It was off tune and off beat and I sounded like a frog but oh my sweet word I did it.  I did it.  I am so relieved that I did it and now I can sit back and relax as everyone else tries to find their own lyrics to sing.

Katie stands up now and says that for whoever is not singing that they don't have to sing but instead they have to say why they aren't getting up to sing.

Not going to lie I feel a little cheated right now.  I totally would have told you why I didn't want to sing instead of singing.  Oh my word.  I can't believe that just happened.  I just went through the most emotionally traumatic experience of my life and now you tell me that I had an option.

A few people talk about why they aren't getting up

"afraid of being judge about how bad of a singer they are"
"fear of being humiliated"
"don't want people to look at them differently afterwards"

I feel like putting my hands up and saying "Mhmm preach sister preach" but I think I have gone through enough humiliation for one night.

We then all move our chairs into a circle and everyone goes around and says one word to describe this experience for them.

I said 'nerve racking' (I think)

We talk a little bit about the experience and why it was so difficult to get up there and sing.

Afterwards we all went back to our rooms for a well needed nights sleep.  I go to bed regretting singing.  I will learn to laugh at it, but for that night I am going to just swim in a pool of self pity.

-Z